So I just had a, rant
About vitamin D , milk and bones.
Since I was young, predominantly 5(where I entered school) I have always been told no. I never noticed it til I entered school where students are to inquire in what is being taught. I at age 5 could not read, to be honest I had no interest in the puzzling shapes that a human could make sound out of. I did eventually get to become literate. For the first time My hand rised out of the Sea of children waiting to bloom as I took the chance to read out loud to my class. I was eager to read “the cat is Orange”, My teacher’s attention was grabbed by this notion, like the sun giving light to the blossoming tulip or whatever flower you like. And like that, within lightning speed I was told “no, put your hand down Alexandra, you cannot read”. Damn, I felt like I was electrocuted. I think that’s how it all started, yeah, my fear for teachers. My friend pointed out that I think a lot of authority figures do not like me. And I think this is one of the sources. Besides being in an oppressive Arab family, I think this is how my self esteem in school started. I’m always greatly hurt whenever a teacher tells me no, and I’m trying but it seems like whatever I do is never good enough. So this pain that I get when I am told no, can go 2 ways or both simultaneously. 1 way, I can wallow in my rejection, or I can combat this in a aggressive manner and prove my teacher wrong. I know I’m not like the other students, I have to work double or triple but this work sticks to me better than the other students. So I want to know how can I get over this rejection? Like it kinda gets me motivated but it’s frustrating and exhausting. Its one of the main reason why I want to go to medical school. People tell me that its hard, normal people can’t do it. That I should take an easier route. No, I will not. I’m saying no to all the people who doubt me and saying yes to me. I will be the best doctor, and I will prove to those naysayers how ignorant they are to underestimate me. At the same time, I want to inspire others, like my patients, that there is a way to everything and giving up is not enough for yourself.